Perhaps I should call this, ‘Ten Random Apologies’, or ‘Top Ten Misunderstood Characteristics’, as some are character traits that have served as main sources for many a misunderstanding and awkward situation in social situations. Some may be a bit contentious, but if you can (and have done so for as long as you’ve known me) oversee these little quirks, you’re one darn awesome friend. ILU. =)
(1) I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know. Aaand…that’s a damn problem. It has come to my attention that I sincerely have difficulties in showing how much I care sometimes. I think about, and highly revere many of you much more than I ever tend to show. I’m not sure if I care to write more about this topic, but I’d like to assure you that I indeed thought about it.
(2) Please, No Linger-Fingers =(. I have never been a very affectionate person, and if so, to very few. Therefore, I generally do not like being touched. I may engage someone in a hug out of a feeling of social obligation, but more than likely, I would rather not have anyone put their arm around me, grind on me, kiss my face (or anywhere else for that matter), etc. You’d think that people out there would be respectful enough so that wouldn’t be a problem. Then again, I have a naïve tendency to overestimate the goodness of most people. On such an event, I will shoot politely ask anyone to refrain from the act.
(3) The ‘Small’ Talk.
Someone: “Hey.”
Me: “Hi.”
Someone: “So, how are ya?”
Me: “Uhm. Good…”
[Insert crickets]
I find ‘Small Talk’ and content-less speech to be incredibly awkward. Approach me with nothing in particular to talk about and I will ADD away like no other. For similar reasons, I rarely enjoy talking on the phone, unless it’s of great importance.
Many a time I have been texted/called/messaged with small talk, I glaze over it, promise myself I’ll answer later, and ultimately forget to do so.
I know you’re trying to be nice. I’m sorry. I just suck at it.
(4) (Blunt) Honesty. I am not necessarily attaching a positive, nor a negative connotation to this. I do not believe in lying about oneself to appease others, and therefore…If you don’t want my honest opinion, do not ask for it. I can be diplomatic, but I will not spare the truth or my honest opinions simply in the interest of salvaging sentiments. I’d rather hear something directly from the source than from elsewhere, and I am sure one would like the same from me.
(5) Don’t Buy Me Flowers (Unless I Can Eat Them.) I tend to favour the more practical and logical rather than the emotional or aesthetic. There are very few exceptions. I can’t tell expensive ‘Name-Brand’ clothing from $5 knock-offs. And I don’t give a butterfly’s fart. Which can cause a Tornado in Kansas according to the Chaos Effect. Books? Puzzles? Jewelry that serves a double-function as USB storage devices? Thumbs up.
Not to say that I don’t appreciate such other baubles as perfumes, flowers, clothes, cosmetics and such…as they make my Christmas shopping endeavors a Hell of a lot cheaper.
(6) “Patience, Grasshopper.” “..But… I’m a Hummingbird D:” I have very limited patience, regardless of my outward temperament. If you are repetitive in your speech or chatter incessantly about trite inanities, my mind will vacate the premises. It doesn’t help that I generally have the attention span of a puppy.
(7) Thank You For Your Concern, But Not. Right. Now. No, seriously. Thank you, thank you, thank you…I really, really, REALLY appreciate your love and concern. Just at certain times. Particularly (and oddly for most people) when I am NOT upset. It’s hard to explain. My Ninja Info Cards. The times when I am most upset are those in which I do not wish to be overwhelmed with compassion. I don’t like to ‘talk about it’. I just wish to be left alone to think. Going into obscurity is my way of healing myself. I’ve kept many adversities from even my closest friends to avoid burdening them with my personal problems, and I want to mitigate the frequency of spreading potential negativity (In other words, I kinda don’t wanna seem like an emo kid). I talk about it when I’m better. This is one trait that I’ve been told that I need to seek psychiatric help for, and I flatly disagree. It’s just the way I deal with things.
(8) Never-Ending Pursuit of Knowledge. When I was 11 years of age, I devised a motto that I stand by to this day – ‘The Never-Ending Pursuit of Knowledge and Honing my Talents and Skill,” or variations thereof. I’ve always possessed a voracious appetite for learning. I value knowledge/intelligence/wit/skills and a good nature above good looks/fashionable/similar qualities. Therefore, I apologize if you want to call my attention to the ‘Cute guy’ over there, because I didn’t notice him. And when you do, I’ll more than likely ask, “That’s nice. But what can he do?”
(9) Just Because I’m Friendly, Doesn’t Mean I Want To Jump Your Bones. Cut off a finger or two from one hand and the remainder of fingers would be indicative of the amount of times I’ve truly ‘liked’ another person. And I loathed the feeling. Other times, I don’t care/am not interested. Dating and ephemeral relationships are of absolutely no extremely minimal importance to me. I’ve hardly ever been interested in it, and I’m in no hurry to start. I can’t explain why. Maybe it has something to do with fact #2. It’ll happen one day. Just not now. No one has changed my mind. Yet. I’m not gay.
(10) “Where Did She Go?” I am a genuine introvert, and even though I’ve changed immensely in that which I can swivel around some social situations quite easily, I still retain my innate, reticent qualities. I do not generally like partying, clubbing, and other taxing social situations. Place me in a room with strangers and I’ll probably have an anxiety attack and cower in the corner. I can’t be around many people for too long, even those closest to me, otherwise I’d go positively insane. I’m quite sure that many of you may recall me ‘disappearing’ from the scene for moments on end if the situation does not involve me. Needless to say, I prefer small gatherings than large crowds. If I agree to engage in activities that I do not particularly enjoy (such as clubbing), it is because I want to hang with you. And if you’re not paying attention to me I cannot be around you, I will shake the scene in order to prevent myself from melting into a primordial goo of the utter sheepishness that I’m made of. I don’t mean to be rude when I do so, trust me. I just need alone time to charge my batteries.
But I swear to the Invisible Entity in The Sky of Questionable Existence that I am trying my darndest to work on some of these little oddities of character and become less of a social disaster. No, rly. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating the severity of it a little. Maybe I’m a lot better that I used to be. I’ve at least adapted enough to feel absolutely fabulous *limp wrist* on stage, though that doesn’t require coming into direct contact with others, either.
Sevy Devi ! 